Recently a client asked:

“as i scroll down the list of who’s looking at my posts, or peruse the holy who’s who and who would be a good addition to my friend list….  rather than just click on  “add friend”, do you suggest/have a method for messaging that person with the friend request?  I understand the mechanics of it…. what i’m looking for is about etiquette.”

Great Question!

So many potential friends!

So many potential friends!

Matter of fact I recently went through this process myself. I was closing in on releasing my latest book, a collection of 400 drawings done in a somewhat cartoony, comics style and thought I should be connected with more people who are involved in some aspect of that field. I don’t know if there is any one definitive way to add friends on Facebook but here’s what I did.

1. I went through my own friends list and, one by one, clicked on friends I know to be cartoon artists.

2. I went through their friends, if their settings allowed it, and clicked on the “People you may know” button at the top of their list. This is where Facebook lets you see how many mutual friends you already have in common with each individual person.

3. The higher the number of mutual friends I already had with someone helped me choose who to click on first.

4. I went to this potential new connection’s page and did my best to familiarize myself with who they are and where they are in their career by clicking on their “about” link. If they had a website posted I visited it. If they had photos of their work I would scroll through and absorb as much as I could to help create a full picture of who this person is professionally!

Click this!

Click this!

5. Now I felt prepared to actually contact this person and make a somewhat meaningful friend request. I would click “Add Friend” and then immediately Message them letting them know who I was and why I was befriending them.

6. I would say something like: “Hi! I’m currently creating a list of great cartoon artists here on Facebook. Because we already have so many friends in common I know your posts will be a great addition to my news feed. If you do accept my friend request, thanks so much!”

Almost everyone I contacted in this way accepted my friendship request. 

Screen Shot 2013-03-27 at 8.53.57 AM

All the news that’s fit to scroll just for ME!

7. As they did so I would immediately go to their wall and thank them and then I would click on the little gear symbol near the upper right on their wall and add them to an interest list I had set up for this group of people. In my case I call it “Artists and Art Events” and populate that list accordingly.

8. Now every morning I log into my account and click on this Interest list I’ve created and am adding to, and see what’s happening in this wonderful little world I’m creating!


You can add Pages that you’ve liked into your interests lists too. Visit the page you want to add and repeat Step 7 above for it – it’s pretty much the same process.

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